Life is but a path lined with shards of broken glass
To live is to endeavour to hurt yourself
No matter how careful you are
Pain is all it inflicts upon you
The world is fraught with suffering
Why choose to live.

I want my little shell back
So I'd never have to leave it again.
Childhood innocence
The best times of my life
Those walls need to be there
Forever.

Post number 269
Reminds me of my secondary school bus
Sigh
Those times are long past
But I miss my past
It felt better than my present
My future
ARGH

All my life I've always felt unwanted
Useless
Insignificant
Which got slightly better these few years
And now those feelings have intensified once again
I'm soooo ...unnecessary
The world doesn't need me around
Too fragile
Too stubborn
Too air-headed
Everyday I live off my parents
I can't find a job
I can't survive on my own
I can't live a day without any company
-sad-
What has my life become?
Then all these terrible moodswings
When night falls
It brings haunting thoughts
Confusion, pain, suspense
Senseless misery that I inflict upon myself
And I spend hours
Hoping and hoping that light will surface
And bring with it new hope
New happiness, faith, trust
But I think I'm losing it
Soon
I'll just be a ghost of myself
Not just emotionally
But physically as well
What happened to my appetite...

I've gone from talking to people
To talking to my dog
To talking to myself
And now...
I'm talking to things
SAVE ME.

-mopes around-
I'm so lonely
And bored
Sigh
-emo-
And down with hideous stomach flu
Slept almost the entire day
Cos I could barely get up
And spent the rest of the time awake
Searching for a job
In vain
As usual
I'm still drowsy
):
Sigh

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why do I even bother anymore?
I shan't.

I feel like my brain is going to shrivel up
And become some freeze dried cube soon
OMG
I need to use it
To exercise it
To make myself feel SANE and USEFUL again
Hahaha
And my body is going to stiffen up
Zombie-like
Until use of my limbs is completely impossible
Mandy is now defunct.
x_x

If by this week I don't find a job
I'm going to do admin lah
SIGH
My distaste for desk jobs has limits
Oh well.
I'm living, breathing for nothinggggg
And I eat too much
I eat more than I can afford
And it isn't even expensive food
Its just the quantity that is ...
Sigh
I need money to feed myself
:X
That's all
And so I will have enough saved to go to KOREAAA
And JAPANNN
Haha
If only money can just fall from the sky
I'll thank my lucky stars for that
But it won't happen
Hahaha
Wish there was more time in the world
More time to do what I want
More time to earn money
Oh well

mandy
20
dentist-to-be!

your wishes

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