♥ Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Me
= Lazy
= Ugly
= Stupid
= Retarded
= Flabby
= Perpetually sleepy
= Untalented
Why was I made this way?
Sigh
♥ Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Just math MSA to go
But its a lot lot lot of work
Especially with memorizing formulas
And all...
Plus, the revision exercise is extremely demoralizing
Because I think I can only do
Barely half of all the questions there
And I take twice the time I should as well
Which makes it four times worse
Haha
And I haven't been typing coherently the past few days
Perhaps I should not let my mind drift anymore
Then I'll be able to talk
In complete sentences
So that people have a full understanding
Of exactly what I'm saying
ARGH
I'm so sick of everything that's expected of me
Leave me be.
♥ Monday, January 28, 2008
Yayyy Ms Sin is sick today!Which means that now is GP lesson and I'm slackingAhahahThis is so funI get to use a computerSit in an air con room and do nothing!Because we finished our project yesterday nightWhich I stayed up till 3am forAs proven by my late night post -points-(:Okay maybe its not for rejoicing and for studying insteadBut I'm WAYYY too lazy to do anythingEspecially if it involves looking throughA bunch of black words on a sickly lookingWhite stack of paper=PAt least I'm using this computer for IT purposes okayBLOGGINGGGAnd erm playing gamesBut nobody's supposed to know thatBecause my account will be suspended for two weeksIF I get caught =x-dies-That'll be the worst thing to happenNext to my FREAKING computer dying on me that isAt least I've got most of my stuff backed up in my brother's computerPHEWSongs, pictures etcOkay this is getting draggy and crappy cos I'm being randomAnd only cos I wanna find something to doMaybe I'll go online and see if chiko's thereCos she's probably playing during lectureWaha (:
♥
Blogging from my brother's computer because mine frigging diedIf I have black font on msnAnd ugly fontIts my brother's computer hahaAnd no emoticons alsoMy own one has like GAZILLIONSOkay maybe not that muchAbout 300 or thereabouts?And I can't seem to type properly these daysBut I must must must blog about today! ((:Oh how I missed VCHSeeing the familiar backstage with all the dressing roomsAnd actually I don't remember anything elseBecause I was so young thenBut still let me reminisce a little alright =PAhahahaFor the love of dance!Though I cannot coordinate my limbs for nutsStill can't coordinate my tongue, fingers and breathing=/ I'd just have to work on itBut anywaySaints Hallelujah VIII!Haha, at the precise place that I was talking aboutI'm listening to Festive Overture as we speakBecause ARGHHHWe're supposed to play it for the Esplanade thingAnd boy is it DIFFICULT...Back to the topicThe usual nerves and allBecause prac wasn't up to my expectationsMore squeaks than usualI was shaking quite abit during long pauses in the performance tooAnd plus I had a hard time tuningGuess was too nervous so I keep biting hardThen take a deep breathThen suddenly relaxSo I killed the tuningBut glad Jo and I didn't clash during LOTAH!The soft soft partsMy best performance tooBecause I played every single note! WITHOUT SQUEAKS!Was so relieved ((:Then came Pacific Dreams where I started screwing upAt all the air notes like open G and AAhhhhTwo squeaks, fine just pretend you didn't hear them alright? =SOopsieeeBut overall it was great fun!Rather relaxed and simple!I wasn't AS nervous as usualLike when my first time on stageI barely made a single soundI bet if I played solo even first row can't hear the whisperingAhahahahOkay done with rantingShall decide to like go sleep since I'm like finally done with work!It was pure torture trust meDoing work that isXDJiayou for MSAs and all people! (:
♥ Saturday, January 26, 2008
Sometimes you wonder really
If knowing is the best thing to happen
And sometimes when you find out
You can't really tell
If making that choice to solve that problem
Or avoiding it instead
Will lead you down the path towards a brighter
Better
Future
♥ Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Mandy loves her mommy tons and tons!
Today I reached home at like 9.30
And she waited ALL THE WAY
Like didn't touch the food she cooked
Cos she scared she cook too little!
Then I -ahem- with my big appetite
Will usually eat loads
So she wanted to wait till I get back
Eat my fill
Then take the leftovers
My mama is so sweet ^_^!
And yesterday I was complaining
Cos I don't have an everything file, I have an EVERYTHING RUBBISH DUMP
So I wanted to clear it and file it
Then I didn't have huge files at home
So I was muttering about needing to buy some
And today my mom bought me four files!
Each is huge and in different colours
Just nice one for every subject!
And what's more
She was chastising herself
For not being able to help
Because she really wanted to help me file them
So I'd have more time to study
But she can't read english that well
So she wouldn't know which papers belonged where
((:
My wonderful mommm!
-hugs-
I thank God for my mother!
And I hope
He blesses me with a more understanding father
Who can just try talking pleasantly to me
♥ Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Tell me straight in the face
If I'm being a PAIN in the ass
Sigh
I really feel like I'm imposing on people my whole life
Just ask me to shut up and go away
♥ Friday, January 18, 2008
Normally I don't like chain emails
But this one I must share (:
Haha
If you woke up happy
You would be happier than 1 million people
Who wouldn't survive next week
If there is food in your fridge
You have on clothes and shoes
And a bed and a roof over your head
You are already richer than 75% of the world
Out of every 100 people in the world
Only one owns a computer!
So if you read this
(even though its only two extracts from the email)
You are thrice blessed!
Because
1. Someone just thought of you
(-beams-)
2. You don't belong to the 200 million people who can't read
3. And you own a computer!
(and my favourite part)
Work as if you don't need money
Love as if you've never been hurt
Dance as if nobody can see you
Sing as if no one can hear
Live as if Earth was a heaven
((:
♥
Miserable
Annoying
Nonsensical
Disaster
Yonder...?
Imminent
Stress
Arriving
Now
I
Don't
Intend
Only
To
Laze
Around
And wait for it to come.
I feel so insignificant all the time
Just a little blip in a mass of billions of people
And how to make my life more satisfactory
Do a little more to be a bigger blip?
Nothing really
I'm just a nobody
And soon that blip will fade
Because it doesn't shine as well as the other blips
Like the stars in the sky
Extinguished
After being engulfed
By darkness.
♥ Thursday, January 17, 2008
My computer is still going nuts!
Its happily scrolling down
I can't blog much anymore
Not like I used to
Because its such a chore
Anyway call me nuts
But I love school (:
Except
And I'm so going to caps this and complain like hell
ECONSSSSSSS
I HATE ECONS
I HATE THE TEACHER WHO TEACHES IT
COS SHE MAKES IT SO DAMNED DRY AND BORING
AND YET SHE DOESN'T GIVE A HOOT TO WHETHER WE'RE ALL DYING OR NOT
AAAAANNDDDDD
SHE THINKS SHE'S TEACHING A PRIMARY SCHOOL CLASS
MAKE PEOPLE WHO NEVER DO WORK COPYYY HER ANSWERS 3 TIMES
ECONS ISN'T COPYING!
IT IS A USELESS AND UNHELPFUL PUNISHMENT
ARGHHHHH
SHE'S MAKING OUR LIVES LIVING HELL
TRYING TO RUIN EVERY SINGLE BIT OF JOY WE DERIVE
SIMPLY FROM BEING AROUND OUR FRIENDS
IN WHAT CLASSROOM DO PEOPLE SIT IN ASSIGNED DESKS?
AND! IN ROWS OF 5 BY 6?
AND AREN'T ALLOWED TO TALK AT ALL
BECAUSE ITS SUPPOSEDLY DISRUPTIVE?
MR TANNN I MISS YOU SO MUCH
XD LOL
BUT SERIOUSLY, SHE'S LIKE A THORN IN THE FLESH
SHE'S SO BLOODY INFLEXIBLE TOO
NEVER SMILES OR JOKES OR ACCEPTS LOGICAL EXPLANATIONS
...
WORSE THAN OUR MATHS TEACHER!
WHO'S ALREADY BAD ENOUGH
AHHHH I NEEDA GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM!
EVEN THOUGH MY COMPUTER IS STRANGLING ITSELF TO DEATH
TAKE ME AWAY FROM ECONSSS!
TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE THAT WE HAVE THIS CT!
AHHHHHH
ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!
NIGHTMAREEEEEEEEEEE
Okay I shall stop here
-sighs-
I feel so much better
Don't know where I've got this newfound optimism for school
Guess a nerve in my brain snapped
I was so delighted to be in school today =/
Gosh, I'm nuts
Even though I always try to be happy
This is like one of the first times
That I was actually ecstatic without a single bit of effort!
-thinks-
And I actually want to study!
Nah, just joking XD
That sentence I'll only say on my deathbed
R.I.P. Mandy who suddenly decided to study and died
Hahahah
And today was hilarious
My brother was bathing halfway with shampoo on his head
Then suddenly the water supply got cut off
AHHAAA
-cough- I can't imagine!
He was so horror-struck that he went out and took a kettle of water
And used that instead
So now
He's clean! And the family's dying of thirst -_-
Stupid right...
And I'm still dirty!
Well at least the water supply came back
But its a weird colour
Hope it clears...
♥ Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Been so exhausted and tired lately
I feel like I'm dying...
Sigh
And my computer's still going nuts
Makes it so uber difficult to type this post
Especially since it jumps to the url bar
Every few words
So annoying.
Then it'd jump to random places
And I might accidentally press enter
Then I lose everything I typed
It's killing me
RAWR!
Top three words in a JC2's vocabulary
1) Stress
2) Exams
3) Suicide
=X okay I'm joking about the last one
I hope it doesn't come to that...
Reverse psychology
Please don't make me believe
♥ Saturday, January 12, 2008
Life in the world
As a human being
Means we have to conform to being pragmatic
It doesn't matter WHO you are
As in, what you believe in
What your personality is
etcetcetc
It's so materialistic and more
The world is more about WHAT you have
What you own, what you can do
For example
Academic grades
External beauty
Aesthetic or sport talents
And if you have none of these
The world judges you in a bad way
People look down on you like you are so insignificant
They have such miserable expectations from you
And don't believe your existence actually make a difference
Then what about morality?
It's so superficial nowadays
Nobody cares about anything deeper than surface level
A company would rather hire a pretty ace student
Over a plain hardworking one, whose effort doesn't show in results
But is it fair to judge someone that way?
I think IQ is inherited
But smart people don't necessarily do well in exams
Its too elitist
People who do well on paper
Might not be equipped to work in the real society
But what really matters
Is your certificate, your grades isn't it?
We work our butts off to get good results
Which will land us all the lovely jobs which are so much sought after
But this piece of paper
Is in actual fact
USELESS
We want so much to earn money, have high flying careers and all that
But eventually everyone dies one day
And what will you have accomplished?
Maybe making a name in history
Leaving big bucks behind for your children to inherit
But that's all isn't it?
There's nothing deeper than that
Nothing that will make you leave the world
Any day
That keeps you happy
I'm beating about the bush I think
I can't seem to express my point clearly
But the baseline is
As long as I'm happy every single day
I'd be satisfied with my life
No matter how unaccomplished it is
Of course I will still strive for the best
But I won't let competition and stress get to me
Its just not worth living my life on tenterhooks
Trying to keep up with this PLASTIC world
Hate me if you like
Ignore me if you don't
I can live happily
Alone (:
I might be a fool
But what's so sad about living life simply?
Like my dream with pau
Living in a tiny little cottage by the sea
Baking pies everyday and taking care of the farm animals
Its so idealistic
So utopian
But it has been eradicated by technological advancements
If only we could go back to the past
Where happiness is defined by joy and cheer
Of people around you
Rather than material accomplishments
Where people in the past
For example
From the cavemen era
Happily clubbing animals all day long and eating
And still living satisfied with themselves
Or perhaps later on
The era of fishermen or farmers
Who traded goods in the market
Bartering away for good prices
But for what?
Not to improve the economy
Or earn large amounts of money to buy more houses
But just to feed their family
And keep them happy and full
Little children playing games in the kampong
Life can be simple yet sweet
We in countries so advanced
May look down on third world countries
And pity them, thinking
"Aww, they don't have facilities like us, like water"
But I seriously wouldn't mind living a hard life out there
If I had friends, family, and enough entertainment
Albeit just pebbles and stones maybe
To keep me happy with how I live
Every single day
So umm the moral of the crapping is
Just remain optimistic about life!
Nothing is as bad as it is
And even if you feel horrible and down
Just think of what would cheer you up and do it
No matter how abrupt it is
Don't think so much about the future and all that
Because time is running fast away
Present will become past
And you must do all you can
To make your present happy
So you will have amazing memories to look back upon (:
Cheer up WORLD! ((:
♥ Thursday, January 10, 2008
There are all these dreams
All these material desires
But sometimes I wonder
Which are real and which aren't?
Sometimes I wonder
Do I really know what I want in life?
Am I to judge how my life goes, in such an inexperienced state of mind?
You learn as you grow, people say
But by the time I learn from my mistakes
I'm afraid
It'll be too late.
♥ Monday, January 7, 2008
Conversation at the dinner table in my family
(translated from cantonese)
Mom: Wahh cham la! Two people gave up their seat to me today!
Do I look that old?
Me: No lah, maybe they think you're tired
Or they're just nice?
At least you get to sit okay!
Dad: They think she's pregnant!
Look at the tummy!
Me: Yah hor, 4 months!
Mom: Shut up!
-looks upset-
I'm going on a diet!
15 minutes later
Me: Omg mommy! Where're my hershey chocolates!
Mom: 3/4 in my stomach
1/4 here! -motions to open packet in front of her-
Me: ... -speechless-
Mom: You very fat ah, don't eat!
I eat for you!
Me: But I like! And you always say I too thin anyway!
Mom: OH. -pause-
I bluff you one
You like that also believe?
-feigns shock-
Me: )):
Ah well.
This is pointless
But I am bored to the extreme again
Need to start on my GP seminar project
But I really don't want to
It's the only subject I hate to the core
Econs is boring
But I don't hate it at least...
I even like chinese more than GP! o_o
Gosh, what has the world come to
To make me say such a statement
But it rings truth to it
Sigh.
Help me to effectively contrast Capitalism and Authoritarianism
RAHH
I need to find those case studies
And the presentation has to be 5 minutes long
-is reminded of PW OP-
But then its not as stressful
People don't expect so much out of you
As in my AP class ):
Besides, I'm stupid and lousy and don't belong
So my classmates probably look down on me
Because my English proficiency just doesn't show
And sigh, they don't seem very pleased to see me
Everytime I step into the room
...
I hate GP AP )):
Vinnie, I want Anson Pang!
How could I ever have said that again?
But then it is driving me over the edge
HEH
>_<
Here I come USA and Egypt and your boring ideologies...
♥
T_T
MY
FEET
HURT
LIKE
CRAZY
.
THEY
ARE
FULL
OF
BLISTERS
.
Stupid 8 rounds
Shouldn't have worn my converse shoes
How could I forget ...
Now I have the most swollen feet in the world
Gahh
♥ Sunday, January 6, 2008
Read a nice book today
Called The Secret Life of Bees
It's fiction by the way
I'm not going crazy yet
And its not totally about bees
More of a girl living out her life of pain
Suffering with a torturous memory of the past
Interesting.
I don't know what I want in life either
What direction I should take
Investing efforts into my passions
Will not allow me to earn big bucks in future
And who doesn't want money?
I'm not like some greedy person who needs so much I can swim in them
But isn't it true
Doesn't everyone have to concede
That money LITERALLY makes the world go round?
Health or wealth you may ask
If you're healthy, you still mightn't get the job
Which allows you to gain the riches you want
But if you're rich
You can employ every single top ranking surgeon in the world
To help with whatever health problems you have
Aye, financial matters, political matters
Confusing, but unavoidable
Do I want to pursue that dream of mine
And sought a path full of vines and thorns
With every step I take
It will make me more determined to find the daylight
The end of the tunnel where I will be truly happy?
Or would I rather
Nestle in a comfort zone
Not even daring to wander, to chase a passion?
Disturbing.
Here're my new year resolutions!
1. Do well for A levels
And not just any old how well
Like seriously well
Straight As is what I hope for
Although I'd settle for H2 As and H1 Bs
Even though it might not meet the requirements for medicine
2. Good grades must be a reason for something right?
If stupid mandy here stumbles upon a massive miracle
I want to get into Murdoch University, Marine Biology
Or else if my parents REALLY object
I'd try Royal Veterinary College
Or University of Cambridge, Faculty of Veterinary medicine
And if I decide to rest against my laurels...
Although it still requires all the effort I can put in
NUS science faculty here I come
Human medicine then...
3. STAY AWAKE IN ALL LESSONS O_O
Oh please help me with this
I can't ):
It's literally impossible for me
Maybe it'll last for a few days
But I definitely cannot stay awake in Econs lessons!
Bio is possible, but not more than an hour
My attention span...
I do try so hard to stay awake ):
Really really really hard.
4. Grow taller
I don't care if its just 1 miserable CENTIMETRE
But oh gosh, it matters so much to short lil me
5. Swim faster
I don't really wanna take the coaching cert
But my parents and their whatever ideals
They want me to be what
A tuition teacher, piano teacher, swimming teacher
GAHH
I'm untalented okay
It won't work out...
But I do wanna swim faster since I'm getting so slooow
That I feel embarrassed swimming XD
6. Visit Japan, Korea, Taiwan and/or Europe
((: It's so fun to tour the world
See all these exotic places
Even though its more beneficial for personal development
If I can visit third world countries
But its difficult to help
With geographical boundaries and natural problems
Which cannot be averted
7. Play every single note in all the pieces for band concert
Been playing most of them
As in I can play the pieces
But the running notes are anyhow
I do play all the notes
But I ignore the accidentals in running notes =X
Woopsie
Well at least I some portions of running notes are correct
Esp in the pieces we're playing for CCA recruitment
-nods-
Can't blame me for trying ^_^
8.Be happy as well (:
As long as I enjoy myself doing something
I'd definitely put my heart and soul into it
I'm happy in school though!
Exams, tests, homework and studying are all stressful
But they're necessary I understand
I don't procrastinate as much though
So its probably a blessing in disguise
Milestone assessments, I won't study overly hard for
Because I don't think its worth risking my understanding of j2 stuff
J1 stuff, just revision will do I hope
I'll pace myself well and cross my fingers!
That's in terms of um psychological happiness? x)
Then in terms of emotional happiness
Even, affairs of the heart
I'll just let time tell
Hahaha
Friends make me happy though
Just seeing them around in school
Chatting about our lives and just revelling in each others' company
Knowing how the other person is doing
And just being there for each other
Bliss ((:
Hehe
I love you all my dearies!
That's all with my resolutions
Long-winded, boring and all that
Ahha, no one asked YOU to read! ;)
Serves you right!
Hahahaa
♥ Saturday, January 5, 2008
ARGHHHHH
I can't take it anymore
I'm about to explode!
My freaking idiotic brother!
He's sooooo competitive that I can't stand it
...
AHHHHHH
-spasms-
Like a few months ago I borrowed a score from rx to photocopy
Its called Through the Kaleidoscope la
Then I played through like once or twice
Barely can play every note smoothly kind
Then my brother saw it
He quit piano in primary school
And totally can't be bothered
But he KNOWS I like that piece
And then he spends every single day practicing the bloody song
For HOURS on end
Why?
Just so he can play it better than me!
Okay, so now he can
And he's still playing it everyday
OMGGG
I hear it when I wake up
I hear it when I sleep
I hear it in my dreams
I hear it ringing in my head in school
I hear it when I come home from school
I hear ittttt
I'm going CRAZYYY
And the worst thing is
He keeps playing it in front of me
Just to GLOAT about it
Just to laugh at me for playing it worse than him
But I think I practice x10 to the power of negative 897324763 times
LESSSSS than him
I haven't touched it since I dunno two weeks ago
And right at this moment he's playing it
I'm going nuts
I ammm
KILL meeeee
I hate the piece now
TAKE it AWAYYYY
-whines-
OMGGGGG
HELPPPP
AHHHHHHH
I think I need to be sent to a mental hospital already
-cries-
♥ Wednesday, January 2, 2008
First day of school in the year 2008
Boring x_x
Hahahah
Maths lecture was cancelled
PE was Mr Koo talking and talking again
And taking the DREADED height and weight
Bio tutorial was going through genetic engineering tutorial
Which I read the notes three times
And did the tutorial really seriously yesterday
So it was 1 and 1/2 hours of stoning
And just listening to Ms Wong repeating EVERYTHING
That I read the past few days...
Lucky I didn't fall asleep
ALMOST did.
And she mentioned that I always fall asleep during her lesson
AGAIN )):
Not my fault okay
I really can't help it!
Hahah
Then that was all the lessons I had today
Although tomorrow will be intense AND boring ):
I have FOURRR hours of lessons without breaks
AHHHH!
Pure TORTUREE!
Anyway then had band
After lunch with Stephy, Pau and Vinnie (:
We don't have many common breaks anymore!
-whines-
Band was equally boring
Because it was absolutely tiring
We were exhausted from waking up so early
And not having band for more than a week
Sigh, I'd never be able to play every single note
In Indiana Jones and Pacific Dreams
Either they're a whole bunch of running notes
Which I just end up staring in shock at
Or its really really high and I can't pitch so hiiiighhhh
XD
At least its not an American in Paris o_o
Or I'd just die.
I hope tomorrow will be a better day! (:
Although its going to be long...
♥ Tuesday, January 1, 2008
I had a great time at Stephy's yesterday!
BBQ was ultra yummy
Albeit oily
But that's normal ain't it?
Had fish, chicken wings, sotong
Otah, pork chop, hotdogs
Corn, sweet potato etcetc.
((:
YUMMMMYYY
I ate a whole lot
But then had tummyache
And that's only cause I didn't cover my stomach properly
When it was so windy last night
Just like vinnie didn't too (:
We have erm, similar bowel movements =x
LOL
We played saboteur at Stephy's house too!
Mm, with Pau, Kaka, Billy, Brandon
It's a really fun game! Haha
I still remember playing it in Indo
Everybody kept asking for extended bedtime hours
Because we wanted to keep playing
Once our light-out time was extended to 12am (:
But anyway back to the topic
Went home at around 11.20pm
Which meant that I was counting down on the train
Actually not on the train
More like at Khatib MRT station x_x
Lemme show you my view at 12am
Hahaha
Where I messaged everyone Happy New Year XD
At the platform of the mrt...
Where I had to walk the lonely road home
Hahaha
I made my new year resolution walking back!
To work much harder this year
So that I can get into NUS
I don't wanna leave Singapore just yet
Even though my parents want me to study probably at
Hongkong Uni or maybe some random uni in UK
Simply because fees will be cheaper
And they get to retire where they wanna be
=/
But I'd miss my friends MUCH too much to even think about it
Although it does seem fun!
Haha
And I trimmed my fringe in the toilet
First time x_x
So it didn't umm turn out very well
But I hope no one notices!
Haha, inspiration from my dear friends who do that all the time
Back to studying bio for me right now
)):
Pain everywhere
Inside and out
SIGHHH
Hope 2008 will be a good one!
Byebye 2007!
