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♥ Friday, April 27, 2007
5 days has gone by since I resolved to save money
This week has been hectic though
Although I can't remember much
Just lots of coffee koping
And hunger pangs
Random silliness in times of stress XD
Let me try recalling my week...

Oh Tan Chai Kwang said alot of teachers complained
That I sleep STRAIGHT through all their tutorials
I can't help it if they're boring right x_x
I mean I don't sleep for no reason
Besides exhaustion and boredom
And if I sleep during tutorials?
It's more boredom than weariness
*conks out*
So don't disturb me
Let me dream in peace lol XD

Monday:
Boring.
Pw put me to sleep
Pe, captain's ball, fun!
GP, crap, cos my group let another group take a easier topic
We're so nice ok
So we're stuck with doing our project on "civilisation"

Tuesday:
Worse.
Pw again, more sleep + TCK got damn pissed
Started showing an emo and tense side of him
That we've never seen before
Scolding Shaun la
Me and Vinnie got shocked awake heh
Bio tut was like a lecture for insomniacs
Zzz
The rest of the day was just plain draggy
Oh most happening thing came at night
(only a few people know why)
Super creepy
Glad it hasn't happened again

Wednesday:
Stoned.
Pe, floorball, SUPER fun!
And tiring, in the hot sun
Didn't know Valerie (velcro) can play so well!
It was such a entertaining game, if anyone watched XD
Then on with lots of boring lectures
Sports club - Played handball but supposed to hit basketball post
Didn't manage to participate much
Except run around like an idiot
Trying to show people that no one's guarding me
And can throw to me!
BUT to no avail lol
Fun though, but it was a really wet day
Thunderstorm cut short our games

Thurday:
Hyperish.
Chem domination, but I didn't sleep!
Well not as much as I usually would've done though
Hm, econs killed me as usual
Sigh
Haha, I just don't understand anything
But I'm not doing anything about it except to laze around
Teehee
Got GP compre back and did pretty badly for it!
Worse I ever did, but considering how horrible JC life has been
I wasn't that upset about it
Went with Alvin and Ryanna to buy shoes after that!
Haha, me and my dear tried so desperately to convince him that the pair suited him
AND at least he finally bought it
But it was after much persuasion
And alot of thinking and skipping in them
We both agreed you looked like a little child!
Trying on shoes for the first time XD LOL
Then after Alvin left
We sat in macs to eat yummy McFlurry
Haha and just chat about stuff~
It's nice to have someone as close as a sister with you (:

Friday:
Gloomy, but opposite of my mood.
Rainy day since the beginning of the morning all the way
Day was long even though peppered with breaks
But heard the house council speeches
STEPH! DON'T WORRY, YOU DID GREAT! ^_^
And of course we all voted for you!
Haha
Moral ed was hilarious
Guessed each other's baby photos
Some people looked like themselves, others not
Especially Billy's picture!
Totally girlish, even Ms Wong put the caption "Miss Cheerful"
Above the pic of him in a dress and a ponytail
Bio prac was insanely boring
I didn't fall asleep much due to alot of pinching
(The perpetrator knows who he is)
But I was awake in a zombie-like state
NOTHING went into my brain heh
At least the day ended off great with archery
During sports club
Stephy and I have such great chemistry!
Hahahaha
We shot our target with almost the same precision
Although I didn't do so well at first
Our last few shots were so funny
We both hit near each other's shots
And plus they were all like on different parts of the bullseye?
SO COINCIDENTAL

Oh and not going for famine camp
Those 20 bucks can be put to good use
Feeding me instead of starving me
Lol, Yong Kuan was the deciding factor
He tore up his form and we all followed suit
Haha!
S12 camaraderie rocks!
If only we were never split apart

♥words from deep within





♥ Sunday, April 22, 2007
-stares into wallet-
Oh I've never felt so broke and helpless in my life before
Have only 20 bucks for the rest of April
Which is you might say, only 8 days?
But if you've ever seen me eat in school
You know it's 100% definitely not enough
Mandy needs 2 to 3 lunches in school a day!
Plus lots of drinks and snacks i.e. Pocky, Hello Panda
Which is = to about $6 a day?
And that means
I'll spend it all in three and a half days!
And then what, starve ):
*sob*
POOR HUNGRY OL' ME
(If only I didn't blow 22 bucks at Crystal Jade and 11 bucks at Esplanade Library)
Which is a long story I shall not elaborate on XD
P.S. Sorry chiko, Mango Pudding treat another day! hehe
and that Laksa was not worth it, but still yummy lol

But thus I conclude
It's totally my own fault
And I don't regret it =P
But I hate myself for being so retarded
Next time, QUANTITY OVER QUALITY
I could've eaten 10 plates of chicken rice with that money...

My whole weekend was a bunch of studying
Alot alot alot of studying actually
And some catching up with friends
If only I could relax on saturdays and sundays
That'd make me happy ^_^
At least I managed to finish alot of work
But the whole time I was dreaming of Sentosa
And the six S12 people there XD
Having so much fun while I was stuck and broke
(All my own fault, I shall mention AGAIN)
Sigh

*watches as spiders spin cobwebs in wallet*

♥words from deep within





Life is a mess nowadays
Just a jumble of emotions and thoughts
Plus a physical jumble of tutorials and lectures which I sit through
Albeit like a stoned duck
I just need some time
To think things through again
Sort out my feelings
And do what I do best:
Analyse the situation
Write a huge table of pros and cons
Sit down and suck on my pen cap XD and think carefully
Predict future recurrences or problems
Wonder how long it will last
Do a rough estimate on a conclusion
Decide how much time and effort I'll invest in it

...

Maybe I'm too methodical, too scientific, too practical
(And I still wonder why I screwed my PI up)
I could just follow gut feeling
Which always happens to be right
But I don't trust myself to simply follow a feeling
Being impulsive and spontaneous just isn't me

So only time will tell
And whether the chance will be treasured
Is not up to me to decide

♥words from deep within





♥ Monday, April 16, 2007

Random pictures of my dearest friends ^_^

I miss those times

07S13 doesn't know what cam-whoring means lol

OG 27! <3 One Sentosa outing, sometime in February

Whee, splashing around at Vivocity on one of our class outings again!
Had Carl's Jr lunch btw (:

Hopping up and down with joy XD Lol, on the track one day of S12's cam-whoring

07S12 at Sakae
Tien Wei, Billy, Vinnie, Stephy, Yong Kuan, Raphael, Boon Siang, Stepheong, Wai Sum and Me

Stephy and me, someday during our CG trip to Sakae


♥words from deep within





This is like soooo random
But then when I entered blogger
I saw the words "Now you can post in Hindi!"
And that kind of brings back GP memories
Of globalisation and the Singapore identity
We're still in the midst of debate though
Whether an identity exists in Singapore
Like if our identity is what we are at the moment
Rojak
A mix of culture and values, traditions and behaviour
Cosmopolitan?
But I just think, that's not any special
It doesn't represent us as a nation
More like our initial identity had been diluted...
Or we never had one in the first place

Writing in my diary relieves stress
Since I know for SURE no one reads it
Unlike my blog
Where I can talk about random stuff
And maybe share like 1/10th of my true feelings
But it being on ink, and handwritten
Shows effort XD
And also, I write as I think, and writing makes me happy
Maybe I should be an author
But my English vocabulary is not extensive enough
My language not sufficiently flowery or bombastic
I shall give up on that ridiculous fantasy lol
Although I do like the feeling
Of ink on paper
Especially uniball signo 0.38 black ink
On nice smooth foolscap paper
So flowy
^_^
Lol

I know there's an imminent Bio test and Math test
But my hand refuses to pick up the notes AGAIN
And everytime I look at it
The words swirl in front of my eyes
Especially Bio, I have no idea what terms stand for
And what functions certain cell organelles do
Oh gosh
I'm so dead
Why did I pick Bio in the first place?
I know I had the interest
But not in this field
Couldn't we learn something of more relevance to our careers in future?
Well you would say that
If I wanted that I would've gone to poly
I mean, I WANTED TO
But my parents WOULDN'T LET ME
Imagine mentioning that to my dad
Before you open your mouth
You see your body ten miles away
And below you, an empty expanse of air
Then you get that lovely and I mean "lovely"
Feeling that you get
When you take roller coasters and just went over a loop
Such amazing sensations for free
Who wants to try?
XD

Thus I end with
If I never mentioned this before
A friend of my dad's, is most certainly an enemy of mine

♥words from deep within





♥ Thursday, April 12, 2007
Today I've felt the most tired that I have in my life
And I slept through everything including breaks
Again when I reached home
After every paragraph that I study XD
Oh I don't know why I feel like this

Anyway I decided on joining band
I feel that although it's more difficult to "establish" myself in band
It certainly requires more commitment than sports club
And I like sports club ):
All the fun we have together and stuff
But I like to play the clarinet too
Just that practicing for long periods of time is not my thing
But then, exercising and exerting myself for long
Is also something I don't really enjoy
Unless it's fun of course!
Like sports club
Okay I'm making myself more undecided

Oh and I saw this personality test somewhere
Kind of accurate, but hmm maybe only partially

ISTJ - The Inspector
You scored 50% I to E, 60% N to S, 59% F to T, and 50% J to P!
Your type is known as the inspector, and the single word that describes your is superdependable. You also belong to the larger group of guardians. You look carefully at the people and institutions around you and notice every last detail. You feel it is up to you to make sure those around you uphold certain standards of attitude and conduct. You are down to earth, with a distaste for fanciful things. You prefer things practical to new-fangled. Your word is your bond. You have no problem with detail. You share your type with 10% of the population.
As a romantic partner, you are dependable and predictable. You usually like things done in very specific ways. You tend to appreciate tradition, and you work hard to achieve goals. You have trouble sharing your feelings, though. In your eagerness to be organized and productive, you can also be unwilling to examine or embrace alternative points of view. You like to be appreciated for your practical contributions, your common sense, and the efforts you make to keep your life on track. You like to be thanked often, both informally and formally and are most likely to be upset when your partner forgets a tradition you hold dear, such as an anniversary.
Your group summary: Guardians (SJ)
Your Type Summary: ISTJ
That's my result (:

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=16567335035599898597

The test link if you want
Try it out!
Haha, only when you're as bored as me
And have this pervasive unwillingness to pick up econs textbook
x_x
Oh dear, I'm gonna be retained this year

♥words from deep within





♥ Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Rushing PI today
Have no idea what to write though
Just that hopefully it won't be too crappy -_-

Today is the day I exerted myself the most in my whole ENTIRE life
Morning, 5 stations for NAPFA
Got AAABB
For situps, sit and reach, inclined pull ups, shuttle run and standing broad jump respectively
Which tallies my total to a AAABBB = Gold!
Yeah
Okay that's only the start
Tiring enough, seeing that I had stomachache in the morning too

Then afternoon, CG 07S13 wanted to play captain's ball
So I went to eat a plate of soya sauce chicken hor fun
Then joined them
Pretty slack at first
Strolling around, acting as a statue
Cos I'm really horrifying at catching balls
Then near the end, managed to shoot once after trying to be abit hiong
So I was all sweaty again for the second time in the day
Then after that went to get a drink with the rest of my old CG
Then to SAS for yong tau foo XD
More food again

Worse thing came then
We went for sports club expecting a...
Quoting the seniors "We can't tell you what you're gonna do, but it's definitely going to be a fun and exciting activity!"
So yeah, we were fully expecting that
But when we arrived all full and satisfied at the gallery
Everyone looked geared up for something tough o_O
Then we realised
Endurance run today! x_x For selection or something
Had two rounds around the track for warmup
Then went out of school to jog for A WHOLE HOUR
Non-stop!
Well my group kinda brisk walked the last one or two rounds
But it was still tiring and we were all exhausted
Came back into the school because it started drizzling pretty huge drops
Then we thought it was all over?
But we had to play floorball!
Oh goodness
Fun la, but can't you see that we're all tired and our legs are sooooo wobbly?!
At least there's going to be cycling and rollerblading on friday (:
Although I still haven't decided whether I should stay for band camp or go for it
But then Friday will bestow on me mental fatigue
Especially since my whole day is PACKED TO THE BRIM
I only have a half an hour lunch break?
Then I must rush down to the meeting place
Changed and ready by 3.30pm, which is right after my econs lecture test!!!
Sigh
I need to bring alot of stuff too?
Cos of the band camp, stayover and everything
So I'll be back sweaty and tired
Then attempting to blow clarinet with a physically and mentally weak corpse of a body
XD
I wonder how I'll cope
But I still can't decide which CCA to drop!
Haha

I'm so tired
I wonder if my body can take this anymore
All the physical, mental and emotional battering
I need to withstand it all
And still balance between them the best I can
Mandy, you can do it! (:

♥words from deep within





♥ Monday, April 9, 2007
-flops down like a dead fish-
Argh, 2.4km today
Supposed to be trial run, and I took it as a trial run too >.<
Means I didn't run as fast as possible
And didn't sprint till like the last 10m?
Such a pity
The pe teacher took is as the real thing though
But at least I got a B
And I don't need to run again anytime soon haha
Yay, games!
I'd rather kick a soccer ball around a damned field
Out under the scorching sun for hours
Rather than run XD
Well have 5 stations to look forward to on Wednesday
Giving me butterflies in my stomach again
Hope I can do the shuttle run proper
Me and my slow reacting arms and legs
Oh joy

I've been having weird combinations Of dreams and nightmares recently
Which make me wake with extremely confused, weird feelings
Must be my brain running on its own gears
Unoiled too
Spinning tales randomly from nagging thoughts
Made me do a whole bio essay question in my dreams -.-
(I'll attribute that to overwork)
Then I remember being dunked in some barrel of water
Which has no bottom
So I was kind of drowning
(This thought must have originated from swimming lessons
Cum err, oil barrels??? Lol)
Then dreaming of receiving a sms
And wake up to find my phone with "1 message received"
In the middle of the night ...
Sigh I'd always hoped for the monotony of life to be broken?
But now I wished it returned to the past
Where happy memories were shared with my CG 07S12
Where weren't split up at all
Or it can return to my great times with hopians
In SNGS
Where no one bothered me but left me alone
Where only girls flooded the corridors wherever you turned
Where gossips and rumours spread like wildfire
Where we all kind of lost all our femininity and grace lol
I want...
To just be the plain ol' me
That wasn't given a single glance
The silly bookish girl who sat in the library during most breaks
Who was quiet and soft-spoken
And had her belt really high
Because she didn't see the need to lower it
Who hated chinese lessons
And played rowdy games in them throughout the year
Slacking during rgym trainings
Sitting in splits and laughing away
Staring in amusement at people studying in the canteen all the time
Rushing group lit essays (With Joy, Nina, Shi Hui)
Because we were all so fearful of Mrs Tian =P
Treating teachers like friends
Like my Lit, Math, Bio, Chem, Eng, SS/Hist, Chinese XD teachers
(Mrs Tian, Mr Wong, Ms Praveena, Mrs Tan, Mrs Chan, Mrs Brenda Tan, Wang Jian)
Eating loads and loads of cheap food in the canteen During our 45 minute long breaks
...I miss those times

已經撒了太多謊
我不能再違背父母的旨意
對不起

♥words from deep within





♥ Thursday, April 5, 2007
Say hi to a break through the silent, stale, stagnant phase of non-blogging
Lol
So now I'm trying to find something to blog about
Just so that I won't lose touch with my blog
And it won't be here for nothing
XD

Hmm, anyway, I'm going to promise right here
On print
That when I turn 17
I'm going to be an active volunteer at the SPCA
Shall do both admin and the dirty work XD
Okay maybe not dirty, but I'd expect cleaning cages to be

I was thinking of AP today
How Ms Lim taught us how to write a good essay
And she mentioned, coherence, focus and maturity of thought
Then she asked if any of us will want to drop AP
To join the mainstream classes
I believe that I at least have coherence and maturity of thought
Problem is without focus I won't do well in GP
Maybe I should pull out of the program
Give someone more deserving of this chance
But the thought of joining Vinnie, Billy and Alvin in GP lessons
Under Anson Pang, kinda like makes me sick XD
Especially when they describe how he acts
I wonder if he is a good teacher
But sociology is really a topic I know I can't go into yet
How am I suppose to understand human behavioural theories
When I don't even understand homo sapiens themselves?
These theories shouldn't even be in place
Because assumptions cannot be made
As humans have a mind of their own
They can make choices and decisions
And not follow a certain person's perception of their behaviour
And social status and class
Sigh, I wonder what I should do
Do I really want to get out of AP?

And I've been really confused again lately
Stars in the sky, light of truth and hope
But I haven't been enlightened much recently
Lots to think about, worry about, fret about
I don't know if I'm myself anymore
Lost in a facade
I need to retrieve my soul
From the depths of a shell which houses it
I wonder...

P.S. Mommy and Daddy
You don't know I have a blog
And I will never tell you that I do
But I just wanted to say
I've been following your advice
Cutting off things before they start
Ending things where they have begun
But why does it hurt?
If this is what you want for me
Why am I not happy? Do you not care?

♥words from deep within





♥ Sunday, April 1, 2007
Hatred runs deep in my veins
For the bloody groomers who have caused my darling so much pain
Not only have they pushed away rightful responsibility for his injury
They never apologised or offered to pay for his expenses
Oh Bambi, you're causing me so much worry
Why are you chewing out all your stitches?
They're there to help your wound heal faster
Stop pulling anymore out
Two out of three stitches is already enough
You won't get better at this rate
And you're going to hurt me even more
As I watch you shudder in pain and tear with sorrow
I can't help but feel the inside of me tearing with helplessness
Please, protect my little puppy, keep him safe
I don't want to see him hurt like this
Get better soon love
I can't watch over you forever
I wish I didn't have school

♥words from deep within





HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

Haha, how I wish this was on a weekday
With me and my pranks, I think I'd get expelled or something XD
But it'll be so much fun!
Especially tricking teachers and stuff
Although we're not close to them or anything
Which brings back memories of St. Nicholas
And how we enjoyed ourselves immensely every single day in the school
And even more, when it's a special day like this
Sigh

Nothing much to blog about today, but just felt like typing something
Yu Chuan got through the second round of auditions! (:
And Wai Sum went for one hour before she had to leave
Then I met up with Jeffrey and Jingnan
And sat there for three and a half hours *sulk*
Waiting and waiting for it to end
Saw his friends there too, everyone looked equally bored XD
Then three separate groups of people i.e. his family, sec sch friends, and us, jc friends
All headed to eat somewhere nearby
Albeit reluctantly on our part because we just felt extremely awkward
Facing the cup of milk bubble tea
I just couldn't bring myself to drink it because I felt so sick on the inside
Ate so much lunch XD Ah, greedy mandy
So watched the others play to see who had to drink Jingnan's and my share
Lol
Then we all split up after that
When Ee Yen arrived, Jeffrey left, and Yu Chuan joined us three
To go woodlands to find Ji Soo (:
Ah how I missed everyone, school's so terrible nowadays
Especially since our OG is split up, 07S12 too, oh I miss everyone :'(
Anyway we got "accosted" by three young girls about modelling
And I got incredibly pissed all of a sudden
Because I just had this overwhelming urge to hit someone
And also go home and sleep off the rest of my wasted day
Frustration over foolishness
Well at least we finally decided on a destination to head to
Causeway point
Had sushi at Ichiban Sushi while waiting for Ji Soo
Thank you Ee Yen! ^_^ I think I kind of ate alot alot!
So thank you so much for paying! *hugs*

Then Ji Soo came! Hehe, I kinda stared at her alot because I haven't seen her in ages
Argh *repeats* I miss everyone...
After eating we headed for ice cream!
Erm at causeway point, and I can't remember the ice cream place's name lol
But it was really yummy! Ice cream on waffle whee~
Oh I'm such a pig, I still have dinner XD
Then the guys paid for it as a treat for Ji Soo as a birthday gift kind of thing
Hehe, and more free food again :x
Gee, I must start paying for stuff
Although I classify myself as broke at the moment lol
But overall we had a great time when we parted for the day, at about 6pm
And I don't feel like I wasted my time anymore at least
(: Love ya loads people~
Hope that we can all have fun together again

Anyway band practice on saturday was kind of cool
Pamela revised with Xiao Jun and I about three scales
Before two J1s took over (we're like newbies after all)
Then they insisted we join them for J1 sectional practice
But only the technical stuff
And I sounded so flat the entire time
Got kind of breathless too, because I was trying so hard to push the air out lol
It was pretty loud, that I have to say
But awfully out of place than the rest
The guy who "conducted" it kept staring at me
(Is he J1 clarinet sectional leader?)
I never bothered asking XD
And anyway I think I really was so horrific
He must've thought I should just give up or something
But I got to know some new people hehe
Love band too
Now I wonder how sports club orientation will be like
Hope I still have enough time to catch up with work
And finish all the tutorials
All the while, while suffering under the stress of being in accelerated GP program

Stop having such high expectations of me
You'll end up being disappointed
Really

♥words from deep within







ME ♥

mandy
20
dentist-to-be!


SHE WANTS ♥


your wishes

SCREAM;TALK ♥

cbox/flashbox/haloscan


BREAKAWAY ♥

hopians
Two hopE 2oo4
GilliaN
KatE
KeldA
KhoO
LeE yI
MelissA
MichellE YeO
Chiko'S CheenA BloG XD
NaT
NicoL
QinN
Zi WeI

twelfies
Steph LeE
Steph CheonG
VinniE
Wan YinG
RaphaeL
PaulinE
Wai SuM
AlviN
Jia HuI

og27
RyannA
Jing NaN
Yu ChuaN
Ee YeN

friends
JoeL
JoannA
YongS
RuI XiaN
Ying LinG
SuriyantI
BanD!

CLAPS

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